ICUMI (In case you missed it)

An irreverent and not always accurate view of the world


Trump’s closing speech leaked to press

On the third day of the Republican National Convention taking place in Cleveland, Ohio, rumors began circulating that a copy of Donald Trump’s final speech had been leaked to the press.

The opening sentence to the speech read, “Four score and seven years ago, I had a dream. In that dream I realized that it’s not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”

Fox News talking heads immediately declared that it was just a coincidence if some parts of the speech sounded familiar. Trump Campaign head honcho Paul Manafort quickly claimed that any suggestion that the speech had been cripped from previously famous speeches was simply the work of Hillary Clinton and that she should be imprisoned for making such claims.

He went on to add that all the words in the speech are common words and offered that he uses the term “four score” at least a dozen times a day.

At the end of his press conference, Manafort concluded with the following statement, “I don’t think anyone did anything wrong.

But if heads have to roll, I’d just like to say it’s all Melania’s fault. I had nothing to do with this whole f#&$ing mess. These people are nuts and nobody can control them. And that’s also Hillary’s fault.”

As of the reporting of this story, an ambulance had been dispatched to the set of MSNBC where apparently Rachel Maddow had passed out from uncontrolled laughter.


Fox gets it backwards again

So the women of Fox News are claiming that their super-powerful, hyper-conservative boss Roger Ailes was sexually harassing them.

First off we’d just like to say, “Ooooh, gross, yuk and what the hell was he thinking?” Ailes is one of the most powerful men/toads in America. He single-handedly created Fox’s skewed conservative version of “journalism,” which led to the creation of MSNBC’s skewed version of journalism, which together has led a whole lot of other media sources twisting the truth one direction or the other, which has left us with a government that acts more like Red and Blue gladiators slaughtering the citizenry for the entertainment of their corporate keepers than anything resembling democracy. But we digress.

Fox’s way of handling their top man’s alleged habit of sexually harassing its female employees is to embarrass the women publically, force the women into secret arbitration courts instead of the public justice system and then give good ol’ Roger a reported $40 million to step down.

That’s justice… Fox style.