Socialists in the Senate!


Sen. John Cornyn of Texas, known as the “White Maned Pontificator,” has recently been spewing a fountain of free-market dogma in the debate over health care reform.

His goal, he proclaims, is to save you and me from the horrors of socialized health care. Specifically, Cornyn is out to kill the “public option” proposal that would create a nonprofit, government-run insurance plan to give us consumers a competitive alternative to the ripoff policies now foisted on us by the giant insurance corporations. Congress cannot allow such a big-government intrusion into the hallowed free market, the senator declaims, shaking his mighty mane.

But — shhhh! — I have a shocking secret to tell you: Cornyn and other anti-public-option senators are actually closet socialists! They don’t want publicly financed health care programs for you and me, but for them — hey, bring it on!

The senators’ own health insurance is gold-plated, with dozens of tailormade coverage choices, no denial of coverage because of pre-existing conditions and — get this — up to 75 percent of the cost is passed along to us taxpayers. Cornyn is paid more than $174,000 a year for pontificating on freemarket virtue, yet he has the bulk of his insurance premiums paid by constituents who make maybe $30,000 a year and can’t afford to buy their own insurance policies.

Moreover, the senator has another secret source of socialism available to him. Ensconced in the Capitol building is the Office of the Attending Physician, fully staffed with doctors, nurses and other government-paid health care professionals exclusively serving congress critters. The cost to Cornyn is a mere $503 a year. A year!

So when you hear the White Maned Pontificator decrying “government run” health care, remember that he’s been happily wallowing in it for years.

Previous articleLongmont turnout may have tanked county’s green initiatives
Next articleSoldiers killing soldiers rare, but not unheard of