Don’t whine if you didn’t vote
Some of the election outcomes this week were decided by very small margins. For instance, we went to bed thinking that one of Boulder’s municipalization measures, 2B, was going to be narrowly defeated. When we woke up, it had passed by a margin of only 141 votes. And up in Longmont, Dennis Coombs unseated incumbent Bryan Baum to become mayor by only 164 votes.
This election shows that your vote really does matter. If you didn’t vote, you can’t complain about who your elected officials are or what they do. You can’t complain if your utility bill ends up being a bit higher than it used to be, as Xcel claims will happen with municipalization.
Basically, if you didn’t vote, keep your mouth shut and live with the fact that you chose not to participate in the process.
The buzz over vibrators
Feminist writer Jill Filipovic had a surprise waiting for her in her suitcase when she went on a trip. It was a note, written by a TSA screener, that said, “Get your freak on girl.” The screener had, it seems, discovered the vibrator she’d tucked in her luggage.
Filipovic tweeted about the experience, unleashing a maelstrom in response. TSA promised that the screening agent in question would be fired. Sex-positive people cheered Filipovic’s openness about this violation of her privacy. But others, a lot of them guys, found a variety of creative ways to suggest that Filipovic needed to “get a man.”
Apparently, these folks are living in the sexual dark ages. Vibrators are no longer relegated to the status of the sexless woman’s secret. Lots of married and partnered women also have vibrators. They use them not only when their lover is unavailable, unwilling or unable, but also use them when they’re having sex with their partners to add variety.
Some guys are still insecure about vibrators, apparently secretly afraid they can’t measure up to a big piece of battery-operated plastic. To feed their insecurities, here are 10 ways vibes are better than men:
Vibrators keep going as long as you do.
Vibrators don’t make a mess; no one has to sleep in the wet spot.
Vibrators can’t get you pregnant.
Vibrators can’t give you diseases.
Vibrators don’t expect you to pick up their dirty clothes and cook their dinner.
Vibrators don’t come with baggage (they fit in baggage).
Vibrators don’t snore or smoke cigarettes afterward.
Vibrators don’t fool around behind your back.
Vibrators always do it just the way you like it.
Vibrators are perfect for when you want just the sausage, but not the whole pig.
Surprise! 7 billion
It’s great that United Nations and the world’s media want to remind us that overpopulation is a significant problem. The planet’s most basic resources — arable soil, water, clean air — are endangered by the hunger, thirst and other needs of so many humans.
But the recent explosion of headlines about the issue, with almost every major news outlet on the planet jumping on the 7 billion bandwagon, is almost comical. After all, we didn’t reach 7 billion people overnight.
It’s too bad that most articles present the issue with photos of little brown babies. The poor African woman living in a mud hut with her eight kids has less of an impact on the environment than the average American. It’s less about the 7 billion and more about what those 7 billion consume.
Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com
