ICUMI (In case you missed it)

An irreverent and not always accurate view of the world

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This kinda sounds familiar

Amazon has become a compendium of anything anyone could ever want. Well, the shopping experience just got a little bit better: Amazon is now opening a bookstore in New York City. As the Vice President of Amazon Books told the New York Times, “We call this a physical extension of Amazon.com.”

What a novel idea — no pun intended. Amazon is really leading the way with giving people what they want: a physical space that you can walk into and browse through book titles. You can pick up the book and turn the pages in your hand instead of just clicking and scrolling. And you can interact with other human people in the store who might have read the same book. You can chat up the cute person browsing through your favorite book or ask the attendant for a recommendation.

Huh, maybe if this “bookstore” idea caught on, then other kinds of stores would open. Imagine if instead of opening iTunes, you could go into a business and browse through physical objects that played music. Or wow, what if Netflix opened a brick and mortar store that allowed customers to search through shelves of movies, allowing someone to find an obscure title they’ve never heard of.

And wouldn’t it be cool if all these shops were next to each other? It’d be like the internet, except real life.

Man, that sounds nice. If only there was a world where all of that already existed.

Trump drinking game suspended

Alright all you drinking game aficionados, the Trump drinking game has now been officially suspended for safety purposes. It seems that the president’s recent foreign trip was simply too much.

As most of you know, the rules were simple: every time Trump said something stupid or inappropriate, you had to shotgun a can of beer.

For those who started playing the game on inauguration day, the consequences have been harsh. It is now estimated that more than 3 million Americans have lost their jobs because they have been continuously drunk since Jan. 20. Those still employed have gained an average of 112 pounds.

But if that wasn’t bad enough, according to media reports, 12,000 game players have been admitted to the hospital for alcohol poisoning since Trump landed in Saudi Arabia. And still it got worse. When Trump announced that he had just flown into Israel from the Middle East and then started telling the world press that he never told the Russians it was an Israeli-controlled informant whose cover he blew — this of course was the first time anyone had confirmed that it was Israeli intelligence operation — Benjamin Netanyahu, a renowned drinking-game player, pulled a can of Old Milwaukee from his jacket and shotgunned away. He then passed out, hit his head and has been in the hospital ever since. The game’s creators had scheduled a meeting to discuss possible stoppage of the game when Trump showed up at the Vatican wearing a gold wreath on his head à la Caesar. Before it could be stopped, no less than a dozen Trump drinking gamers actually exploded.

The game has now been suspended indefinitely, but there is talk of a post impeachment game wherein players knock back a shot of tequila every time Pence insults someone in the LGBTQ community. Caution is urged.

  

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