Astrology
Astrology | Week of Sept. 30, 2010
ARIES March 21-April 19: Nine-year-old Fatima Santos told the San Francisco Chronicle her opinions about the movie Toy Story: “If I had to make a movie like this, I would make it funnier. I would make Mr. Potato Head look funnier than he already does. I would put ...
Astrology | Week of April 14, 2011
ARIES March 21-April 19: In her blog, Jane at janebook.tumblr.com answers questions from readers. A recent query went like this: “Who would win in a steel cage match, Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny?” Jane said, “Easter Bunny, no question; he has those big-ass ...
Astrology | Week of May 12, 2011
ARIES March 21-April 19: The 16th-century English writer John Heywood was a prolific creator of epigrams. I know of at least 20 of his proverbs that are still invoked, including “haste makes waste,” “out of sight, out of mind,” “look before you leap,” “beggars ...
Astrology | Week of May 19, 2011
ARIES March 21-April 19: Today I received this email: “Dear Chosen One: My name is Boopsky, also known as ‘The Impossible.’ I rule a small kingdom that exists in a secret place — an island with abundant riches and rhinoceros playgrounds. To make a long story short, ...
Astrology | Week of May 26, 2011
ARIES March 21-April 19: “Weaseling out of things is important to learn,” said cartoon anti-hero Homer Simpson. “It’s what separates us from the animals — except the weasel.” I normally don’t share that sentiment. My standard advice is to face up to challenging ...
Astrology | Week of June 7, 2012
ARIES MARCH 21-APRIL 19: If your destiny has gotten tweaked by bias or injustice, it’s a good time to rebel. If you are being manipulated by people who care for you — even if it’s allegedly for your own good — you now have the insight and power necessary to wriggle ...
Astrology | Week of March 21, 2013
Editor’s note: We goofed! The horoscopes that ran last week were not supposed to run until this week. Rob Brezsny knows which week is which; we just had a small karmic conundrum. To make things right, we’re running the same column again, this time when it should have...
Astrology | Week of August 8, 2013
ARIES March 21-April 19: “You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestation of your own blessings,” says author Elizabeth Gilbert. I recommend that you experiment with this subversive idea, Aries. Just for a week, see what happens if you devote yourself to ...
Astrology | Week of January 16
ARIES MARCH 21-APRIL 19: Whose enemy are you? Are you anyone’s adversary or obstructionist or least favorite person? Answer honestly, please. Don’t be in denial. Next question: Do you derive anything useful from playing this oppositional role? If your answer is yes, ...
Astrology | Week of March 27
ARIES MARCH 21-APRIL 19: I have coined a new word just for your horoscope this week. It’s “zex,” short for “zen sex.” Zex is a kind of sex in which your mind is at rest, empty of all thoughts. You breathe slowly and calmly, move slowly and calmly, grunt and moan ...
