Astrology

Astrology | Week of May 19, 2011

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ARIES March 21-April 19: Today I received this email: “Dear Chosen One: My name is Boopsky, also known as ‘The Impossible.’ I rule a small kingdom that exists in a secret place — an island with abundant riches and rhinoceros playgrounds. To make a long story short, ...

Astrology | Week of May 12, 2011

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ARIES March 21-April 19: The 16th-century English writer John Heywood was a prolific creator of epigrams. I know of at least 20 of his proverbs that are still invoked, including “haste makes waste,” “out of sight, out of mind,” “look before you leap,” “beggars ...

Astrology | Week of May 5, 2011

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ARIES March 21-April 19: Imagine this scene, as described by Seattle-based video artist Michael Douglas. “Sometimes a tree falls down in a field of cows, and the cows walk over to it and stare at it. It used to be standing, and now it’s on the ground. There’s ...

Astrology | Week of April 28, 2011

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ARIES March 21-April 19: To convey my vision of how best to proceed in the coming week, I’ll offer the following metaphorical scenario: Imagine that you are not a professional chef, but you do have a modicum of cooking skills. Your task is to create a hearty, tasty ...

Astrology | Week of April 21, 2011

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ARIES March 21-April 19: Now comes one of the supreme tests that most every Aries must periodically face: Will you live up to your promises? Will you follow through on your rousing start? Will you continue to stay passionately committed once the fiery infatuation ...

Astrology | Week of April 14, 2011

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ARIES March 21-April 19: In her blog, Jane at janebook.tumblr.com answers questions from readers. A recent query went like this: “Who would win in a steel cage match, Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny?” Jane said, “Easter Bunny, no question; he has those big-ass ...

Astrology | Week of April 7, 2011

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ARIES March 21-April 19: When he was 3 years old, actor Charlie Sheen got a hernia from yelling too much and too loudly. I definitely don’t encourage you to be like that. However, I do think it’s an excellent time to tune in to the extravagant emotions that first ...

Astrology | Week of March 31, 2011

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ARIES March 21-April 19: This is an excellent time to study the book Assholeology: The Science Behind Getting Your Way — and Getting Away with it. In fact, the cosmos would not only look the other way if you acted on the principles described therein; the cosmos is ...

Astrology | Week of March 24, 2011

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ARIES March 21-April 19: Were you under the impression that the sky is completely mapped? It’s not. Advances in technology are unveiling a nonstop flow of new mysteries. In a recent lecture, astronomer Joshua Bloom of the University of California described the ...

Astrology | Week of March 17, 2011

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ARIES March 21-April 19: Like Bob Dylan in his 1962 song “A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall,” you’ve done a lot of rough and tumble living lately. You’ve “stumbled on the side of 12 misty mountains.” You’ve “stepped in the middle of seven sad forests.” You’ve “been out in...

Astrology | Week of March 10, 2011

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ARIES March 21-April 19: “Dear Mr. Astrologer: Like the god Prometheus, I stole fire from the gods and gave it to people who sometimes make awful use of it. As punishment, the gods chained me to a rock on the beach, and arranged for an eagle to come daily to eat my ...

Astrology | Week of March 3, 2011

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ARIES March 21-April 19: “The most fundamental form of human stupidity is forgetting what we were trying to do in the first place,” said Friedrich Nietzsche. So for instance, if you’re the United States government and you invade and occupy Afghanistan in order to ...