Savage Love: June 6, 2024

Photo by mimi lalaa on Unsplash

1. Is pegging only for butts or can vaginas get pegged too?

When the term originated in my column — when my readers selected “pegging” as the name for a woman fucking a man in the ass with a strap-on dildo — it was gendered; pegging was something a woman did to a man. But now people use “pegging” in reference to someone of any gender fucking someone of any gender in the ass with a strap-on dildo, an evolution of use and meaning that I fully support. 

But meaning follows use, of course, and I am not the boss of the English language, and if people start using pegging to refer to any kind of penetrative sex that involves a dildo and a dildo harness, I won’t be mounting any legal challenges.

2. Best sex position for celebrating the NY verdict?

Not sure, but it should be something you can get away with doing 34 times.

3. Sex has become boring and routine. Best advice for spicing it up?

Location, location, location — meaning, if you’re having sex with the same person in the same place over and over again, you might wanna fuck that person somewhere you’ve never fucked that person before, e.g., at the office, on the roof, in the darkroom of a sex club with other couples having sex all around you. If you’re having sex lots of different people in lots of different places and you’re bored, you may need to take a break.

4. How legit are all the ads telling me I have low T? I’m a 45-year-old male. Do all men my age have low testosterone levels?

Those ads are designed to make all men feel like they’re suffering from low testosterone, which not all men do. Luckily for men, getting your testosterone levels checked is a pretty simple procedure.

5. Will casual gay sex between consenting adult males ever be normalized?

God, I hope not. It feels like discomfort with gay sex is the only thing keeping bachelorette parties out of bathhouses.

6. Are friends of exes or exes of friends always off limits? What’s the best way to handle one of these sticky situations so you don’t lose a good friend?

Friends of exes and exes of friends are never off limits — life is too short for those kinds of baby-ass dating games. If you’re dating the ex of a friend, you owe your friend the courtesy of a call. Your friend should hear it from you. Yes, it’s gonna be awkward, but the sooner you make the call, the sooner the awkwardness ends. If you’re dating the friend of an ex, they need to make the call.

7. If I’m having a quickie outside, what’s the best way to deal with unclean surroundings? 

You can plant your feet and stay on your feet.

8. Quickest way to remember the sex my boyfriend has with other guys is sexy and not scary?

Being showered with attention, affection, and gratitude — along with all the dirty details (if you wanna hear ‘em) and sloppy seconds (if you like that kind of thing) — may not be the quickest way to remember why it’s sexy when your boyfriend has sex with other guys, but it is the most effective.

9. Can you teach someone to give better head?

Someone giving you head wants two things: They wanna get you off and they wanna get you off in a reasonable amount of time. If there’s a simple thing they can do that will make head more pleasurable, you shouldn’t hesitate to share it.

10. How do I get out of the friendzone and into the FWB zone?

You ask once for a transfer. If the answer is no, you never ask again.

P.S. The “friend zone” isn’t a thing.

Email your question for the column to [email protected] or record your question for the Savage Lovecast at Podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love


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