I’m a stay-at-home mom with three children. I live in a semi-rural area with my husband and my mother-in-law. My husband and I are great at co-parenting, home, family and projects. But things aren’t great on the sex and romance side. We’ve talked about it, and we’ve accepted that things probably aren’t going to change.
We were non-monogamous before we had children. I want to find a consistent lover who wants to date a little and fuck a couple of times a month. The dudes on the dating apps are cosplaying at non-monogamy/poly or they’re the same people I’ve been swiping left on for the past six years. I’d love to find a kinky feminist dad who is actually poly and up for a long-term thing.
Any other ideas on how to find this unicorn?
— Touched-Out Underfucked Cis Hets
Stay on the apps (you never know who might move to town), expand your range a little (good dick is worth the drive), and remind yourself every morning (or every time you masturbate) that you’re playing a long game.
P.S. You should, of course, check in with your husband about your relationship and make sure your non-monogamous agreement is still in force.
My relationship of twenty-seven years ended a few years ago in divorce. I am still a little bitter about my 57-year-old husband dumping me for some 19-year-old kid.
While we were together, he was an amazing and loving doggy daddy, and absolutely doted on our two pups. In the five years we’ve been apart, he’s never once asked to visit them (even though doggo visitation was written into the divorce settlement), and the few times I’d asked him to check in on them if I had to travel, he declined.
One of the dogs is getting very close to crossing the rainbow bridge. Do I do the right thing and offer him one last moment with her? Or do I just send him the vet bill when it’s done?
— Following Intensely Dan’s Opinion
Do the right thing and tell your shit ex-husband your dog is dying. If I were you, FIDO, I wouldn’t cede an inch of the moral high ground: I would my let ex-husband know “our” dog was dying, if only to deny my ex and his current partner the satisfaction of telling themselves I’m a shittier person than they are.
I’ve been in a painful push/pull “relationship” with a man since last fall. We met on Feeld with the intention of him joining me and my husband in an MFM threesome. This other man went from seeming super into it to backing out and stating he wanted me all for himself.
After a few weeks of private texting, I agreed to a one-on-one meetup, which I told my husband about. All we did was kiss. Every time we’ve made plans to get together, he goes MIA or comes up with some last-minute excuse about why we can’t meet. The steamy sexting has continued.
I am a beautiful, strong professional — I’m a therapist! — with so many resources and a happy marriage and yet all of my tools, insight and training can’t keep me away from this boy. Please help!
— Confusing Himbo Endangering My Sanity
This dude is never gonna fuck you.
I don’t know why this dude is never gonna fuck you, CHEMS, but it was clear to me after reading your letter — and should certainly be clear to you by now — that you’re never gonna get what you want from him. It looks like he’s getting everything he wants from you: your time, your attention and your desperation. All he wanted from you at the start is to see how badly you want him.
If you enjoy this particular kind of agony, you could keep sexting with this guy and meeting up once in a while for a hot make-out session. Here’s hoping those meet ups inspire you to go home and fuck the shit out of your husband.
Read more Savage Love on Boulder Weekly