As Boulder Weekly strove to round up a few of Boulder and Longmont’s dingiest bars and greasiest diners, we were stuck on the central question: What, exactly, defines a dive?
Is it that quality of being stuck in time — or, some would argue, timeless — from the hodge-podge hanging on the walls to the weather-beaten regulars? The aroma of stale beer or the sound of a shoe coming unstuck from the floor? Perhaps it is other unknown qualities that, while you may be not able to name them, add a certain grit to an establishment.
Whatever other criteria you might have, one definitive characteristic is the people such places serve: locals. In towns increasingly filled with transplants and tourists, a neighborhood bar or restaurant is a must.
Outback Saloon
3141 28th St.
8 a.m. to 2 a.m. 7 days a week
Part of a dive bar’s charm is its location: squeezed into a strip mall, tucked in the corner of an industrial park or in a dark basement. Outback Saloon, known to locals as simply the Outback, is perfectly situated next to a sex shop (May-Bee’s by Fascination) and a used book store (The Bookworm).
On the Sunday afternoon I saunter in, owner Matt Wolvington is trying to tune the bar’s main TV to the Little League World Series. North Boulder is in the regionals, and the Outback is hosting a watch party for a couple dozen adults and children. Wolvington himself was on the North Boulder team that made it to San Bernardino, California, in the early ’90s; his team jacket is draped over a chair. He offers it to a patron who wanders in without the proper green attire.
Wolvington took ownership of the Outback in 2022 when his father, William W. Wolvington, passed away. A corner seat at the bar is permanently reserved for the late W.W.W., where he used to sit and smoke, cradling a cigarette in the hand of his one arm.
“We opened April 2, 1990,” the younger Wolvington said. “My first job was here cleaning the bar when I was 15 before school, for $15.”
Not much has changed since then. That’s one of the hallmarks of a good dive bar, according to Wolvington.
“I don’t want to change what this place is,” he said. “We have people coming in that have been coming for 30 years, 20 years. You know you can walk in the door and it’s the Outback. I want to make sure the character stays the same.”
Part of that character is karaoke, offered Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights. Mark Nelson has been hosting for “close to 20 years,” Wolvington said.
“We actually had a group in here from Tokyo” recently, he said. Japan is, of course, the birthplace of karaoke; the word itself translates to “empty orchestra.” Wolvington jokes that the Outback is “now internationally known” for its karaoke.
Despite the three decades it’s been in business, plenty of Boulderites still don’t know about the Outback. It lacks the central downtown location of Pearl Street Pub or the Sundowner, or the acclaim of the Dark Horse and its “world-famous burgers” — though Wolvington says he would “put our burgers, our wings, our steak sandwich” against any place in town. Late night revelers can order a Tombstone pizza even after the kitchen closes. No word on whether or not the bar’s infamous popcorn machine will ever restart.
“Undecided,” Wolvington said. “I get asked that question all the time. If it’s gonna bring 100 more people a day in the door, sure.”
What the Outback has is clear dive bar bonafides, from its pool tables, neon signs and sports regalia to its dingy carpeted floors.
“I am biased, but I think we’re the only true dive bar” in Boulder, Wolvington said, one that serves the neighborhood at night and blue collar workers during the day.
“When we got named best dive bar however long ago, my dad was offended. I had to explain it was a good thing. It doesn’t mean your place is a piece of shit. It used to mean that, but it took on a different connotation.
“I think it’s a place that hopefully is welcoming, where you feel comfortable and it’s not pretentious or you can sit and chat with people. It can still be clean, it can still smell nice. One of the biggest comments I hear is, ‘Oh it reminds me of home.’ It makes you feel like you belong there.” — Shay Castle
La Choza
4457 Broadway
8 a.m. to 9 p.m. Monday-Saturday
10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday
2500 47th St.
8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday-Friday
10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday, closed Sunday
An old roommate of mine, an East Coaster, was incredulous that any good food could come from a strip mall. Because of this prejudice, he missed out on some of Boulder’s best spots — The Gondolier, Village Coffee Shop, Curry N Kebob — until I set him straight.
Such is the case with La Choza. Its two locations are easy to dismiss: an industrial park food truck and a North Boulder strip mall. The OG La Choza location was even more so. It operated as a food truck by the Sinclair gas station on the corner of two highways (now apartments).
It fits: La Choza translates to “The Hut.” And any taco aficionado knows the best ones often come from the most overlooked places: a cart near a gas station, a dingy shack.
Despite the humble digs, owner Ricardo Miramonte has big plans for “two, three, maybe five” more restaurants. He puts in about 80 hours a week at the business, he said — down slightly from the 98 he was working in 2016, as reported by the Daily Camera — and he has a side hustle renting dumpsters.
“I’m tired,” he admits, “but I have to complete my dream.”
He made progress with a University Hill takeout location in 2013, but that closed during the pandemic. Despite the setback, Miramonte still believes expansion is possible.
The chef of 30 years is not shaken by the newer competition in town: Business is steady, he says. His regulars are loyal and his product is undeniably delicious.
“I had one customer today, they ordered birria tacos for the first time,” he said during our early August interview. “They came back 20 minutes later for more.” — Shay Castle
Parkway Cafe
4700 Pearl St. #4
6:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. Monday-Thursday
7 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday
8 a.m. to 1 p.m. Sunday
The surrounding warehouses might have you wondering if you’re in the right spot as you turn into the parking lot, but Parkway Cafe’s industrial neighborhood east of downtown belies its homey interior. Its inconspicuous location has kept it off the beaten path for years, and that’s just how locals like it.
With a quaint, beflowered patio outside and cozy booths and bright walls inside, the cafe has been serving up American and Mexican breakfast and lunch since 1987. On the sunny Tuesday when I visit, there’s a steady flow of hungry families, workers and retirees, but there’s never a wait.
It’s clear Parkway is a well-worn spot full of regulars — everyone seems at home here. One woman who comes in for a pick-up order greets a waitress with a hug, and I overhear another table sharing updates on their family with their server.
Parkway’s menu offerings range from pancakes and burgers to huevos rancheros and chile rellenos. For late-sleeping brunch lovers, Parkway gets extra points for serving breakfast all day. I order the chilaquiles with red chile at my server’s suggestion. The heaping plate of stewed tortilla chips — complete with pico de gallo, queso fresco and over easy eggs with a side of refried beans — is in front of me in a matter of minutes.
I look over to the pile of crispy hashbrowns a kid at a nearby table is diving into and experience a brief moment of potato envy before returning to my savory chip-filled plate with gratitude. I can come back, I remind myself. It’s all delicious, and the real star of the show is the homemade hot sauce placed on my table after the food arrives. After I’m completely full, I keep taking just one more bite, the true sign of good greasy grub. — Kaylee Harter
VisionQuest Brewery
2510 47th St., Suite A2
11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Wednesday-Saturday
11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Sunday-Tuesday
Did you have that cool cousin, too? The one with foiled and framed concert posters and a ridiculously large prog-rock collection on vinyl, a projector that shoots rainforest images onto the ceiling of their basement and a copy of Infinite Jest they actually read. Your family members use the word “out-there” or “odd” when talking about them, but those are just other ways of saying “unique” or “real.” The Wednesday I walked into VisionQuest Brewery, I thought of my cool cousin and smiled.
Spaceships and aliens dance around the walls inside this garage-turned-brewery off Foothills Parkway. It’s midday, so it’s pretty quiet, but the space is alive. Ceiling lights meant to resemble hops look like cocoons hanging from the ceiling, and a million stickers litter the wall behind the bar, where “beermaster/bro” Alex Piper stands chatting with a customer.
Piper knows what they’ve got at VisionQuest Brewery is special.
“It’s the people, man,” he says. “We’ve got a funky group over here.”
VisionQuest embraces the authentic — a relic of days past that used to define Boulder, but now only exists in select spots across the city. It permeates through their taproom, from the employees to beer names like Kiwi Herman NZ Lager, The Magical Liopleurodon and Paging Dr. Blondie. The seating is naturally inviting: a mishmash of stools and leatherback swivel chairs, nearly all at high-top roundtables.
“You know Twisted Pine Brewery? We’re crooked furniture,” Piper says with a laugh.
If we would’ve come the night before, we would’ve been treated to Turntable Tuesdays, a weekly gathering for music on wax and dancing, hosted by Piper himself. “We’ve got events all week,” Piper says. Some nights there’s an open mic, others there’s live music, but even if there’s not something happening on stage, there are friends and conversations to be found. It’s been that way since they opened nine years ago.
“Who designed the cans?” My friend asks. Piper points to a man who has appeared in the corner of the space, rummaging through their fridge. He’s got hair dyed a deep red and tattoos around his forearms. His name is Jake Johanson, known by most as “Mad King.”
“I was here when they opened the place,” Johanson says. “I design the cans — each one is a slight variation in color from the subsequent design.”
The cans are blasted with technicolor dreamscapes, bursting with color, featuring goldfish in headphones, octopi and cats. Similar works cover lanterns and the walls of VisionQuest, all of which were likely created in Phoenix Asylum, the community art space and neighbor to the brewery where Johanson applies his craft.
As I finish up my Headier Than Thou Hazy IPA, I can’t help but feel content with my brief time at VisionQuest. For a space filled with psychedelic and extraterrestrial artwork, it’s so real. VisionQuest is out-there, but that’s exactly what makes it undeniably great. Johanson agrees.
“Places like this are keeping Boulder weird.” — Carter Ferryman
Another round? Check out our guide to Longmont dives