Hostess will pay bonuses to execs despite dropping pension payments


BREAKING NEWS OF THE DAY, November 30, 1842: President John Tyler reacted with great joy at news that the top industry leaders of the HOSTESS CORPORATION will be awarded more than $1 million in Bonuses, Payments and sundry other Monetary Blessings for the great works they do for that corporation.

The Hostess executives could earn up to $1.8 million as they oversee the liquidation of the Assets of the troubled company, plagued as it was by Unsettled, Foul Laborers.

Since year last, Hostess has not paid into the pension accounts of employees, so it is truly a Blessing that the company has the money to reward its Wise, Able executives.

We can only hope the Communist Influence of Unions shall never take from Capitalists their rewards for leading Enterprises like Hostess to new Heights or to Bankruptcy as the case may be.

See the story at Slate.