ICUMI (in case you missed it)

An irreverent and not always accurate view of the world


De-operationalizing a presidency

Merriam Webster is like an old friend. It’s always there when you need it, when you can’t recall something you know you’ve learned before. It’s ready to settle any dispute you may have with a coworker, and it’s most definitely not afraid to tell it like it is.

Take for example the way it told Ivanka Trump what the word complicit really means. Or the next day when it pointed out that no, Steve Bannon, de-operationalize is not a word no matter what you thought your role on the National Security Council is… we mean was. But these are just the latest examples of the dictionary taking the new president and his gubbins (foolish or futile people) to task.

Like most of the country, Merriam Webster seem to be bumfuzzled (confused, perplexed, flustered) by the new administration’s taradiddle (fib or pretentious nonsense) that seems to be taking the nation windershins (in a left-handed or contrary direction) of its values. It’s as if the dictionary is yelling, “Gardlygoo!” (a warning cry used when it was customary to throw slops from the window), making sure we all notice the billingsgate (coarsely abusive language) spewing from the White House that very may well lead Donald J. Trump to snickersnee (engage in cut-and-thrust-fighting with knives) with Kim Jong-un. It gives us a collywobbles (bellyache) just thinking about it.

If we ever feel like the world is slipping further cattywampus (askew, awry) from reality, we just have to turn to Merriam Webster for help. Thanks, MW, for always being there when we need you.


Time to send in the big gun

Wikimedia Commons/OPEN Sports

OK, this North Korea thing is getting out of control. We have an inbred baby-brained leader with his tiny fat fingers on the nuclear button of a device he’ll likely one day mistake for his PlayStation controller and blow up the whole world, or at least Seoul. On the other side we’ve got a strong-jawed Texas oilman, Rex “I hate Andrea Mitchell” Tillerson, whose response to inbred boy is to say, “We ain’t talking about North Korea no more. We’ve said all we’re going to say.” Tillerson’s position is made all the more odd because he hasn’t said one damn thing since he became Secretary of State.

How can silence be “saying all we’re going to say.” How does he think that makes imbred baby ruler feel? What if maniacal chubby boy throws a tantrum and kills a few million people? This thing’s gone far enough. It’s time to stop messing around and call in the big gun to do some serious negotiating — big gun as in Dennis Rodman. Maybe it’s his crazy hair cut or the fact that he can’t spell his own name, but whatever the reason, Rodman and baby brain are on the same wave wavelength. If anyone can talk us out of a nuclear war, it’s the Rodman. And hell, don’t you think putting Dennis Rodman into Trump’s inner circle seems somehow right? Perfect fit.

Previous articleIs America’s team going green?
Next articleRegulating their way to destruction