ARIES March 21-April 19: In
the Chinese province of Fujian, there used to be people who believed
they could communicate directly with the dead. If they slept on the
grave of the person they wished to reach, their dreams during the night
might lead to a meeting with the spirit of the departed. I propose that
you consider something similar, Aries. Why? Because according to my
reading of the astrological omens, you would benefit from communing
with your ancestors. If you can’t actually spend the night near their
final resting place, find another way to contact them in dreams. Put
their photos under your pillow, maybe, or hold one of their beloved
objects as you sleep. Halloween costume suggestion: the ancestor whose
influence you need most right now.
TAURUS April 20-May 20: In
an exhibition at New York’s Museum of Modern Art, performance artist
Marina Abramovic stared into the eyes of a succession of different
strangers for 700 hours. Actresses Marisa Tomei and Isabella Rossellini
were among those who received her visual probes, as well as 1,400 less
famous folks. I think it would be fun for you to do a variation on her
ritual, Taurus. In your case, you wouldn’t do it to show off or to
prove an artistic point, but rather to get closer to the allies with
whom you’d like to develop a deeper bond. Are you up for some deep eye
gazing? Halloween costume suggestion: a mystic seer; a god or goddess
with a third eye; a superhero whose power is X-ray vision.
GEMINI May 21-June 20: Have
you ever seen the edible fungi known as truffles? They are bulbous,
warty clumps. Because they grow underground near trees, specially
trained pigs and dogs are needed to sniff out their location. In parts
of Europe their taste is so highly prized that they can sell for up to
$6,000 a pound. In my opinion, the truffle should be your metaphor of
the month this November. I expect that you will be in the hunt for an
ugly but delectable treasure, or a homely but valuable resource, or
some kind of lovable monster. Halloween costume suggestion: a
Frankensteinian beauty queen or underwear model, a rhino in a prom
dress, a birthday cake made of lunchmeat.
CANCER June 21-July 22: Don’t
try harder, Cancerian; try easier. Don’t turn your focus into a
white-hot beam of piercing intensity; relax your focus into a soft-eyed
enjoyment of playing around with the possibilities. Don’t tense your
sphincter, marshal your warrior ferocity and stir up your righteous
anger at how life refuses to conform to your specifications; rather,
send waves of tenderness through your body, open your heart to the
experiment of blending your energy with life’s unpredictable flow and
marvel at the surprising revelations and invitations that are
constantly flowing your way. Halloween costume suggestions: Mr. Smooth,
Ms. Velvet, Dr. Groovalicious, DJ Silky.
LEO July 23-Aug. 22: “I
wanted to change the world,” said writer Aldous Huxley. “But I have
found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.” I
suggest you adopt that as your operative hypothesis, Leo. Maybe in a
few weeks it’ll make sense for you to shower your loved ones with
advice, and maybe you’ll eventually get re-inspired to save humanity
from its foolish ways. But for now your assignment is to fix, refine,
and recalibrate your own beautifully imperfect self. Halloween costume
suggestion: hermit, anarchist, keeper of a gorgeous diary,
do-it-yourself brain surgeon.
VIRGO Aug. 23-Sept. 22: In
last May’s national election, none of Britain’s three political parties
got a majority. For a while, the country had no leader. Eventually, the
rightwing Conservatives and the leftwing Liberal Democrats formed a
weird coalition, making Conservative David Cameron the Prime Minister.
Some people had mixed feelings about the deal. “I said it was like a
cross between a bulldog and chihuahua,” London’s mayor announced, “but
what I meant is it will have a fantastic hybrid vigor.” I suspect that
a certain merger you have in the works, Virgo, could yield similar
feelings. Halloween costume suggestion: half-bulldog, half-chihuahua;
part hummingbird, part-crocodile; equal mix of Gandhi and Napoleon.
LIBRA Sept. 23-Oct. 22: Five white tigers at a Chinese wild animal park became way too tame for their own good. Maybe they’d hung around
humans
too long or their lifestyle was too cushy. Whatever the reason, one of
their essential instincts atrophied. A zookeeper put live chickens into
their habitats, hoping they would pounce and devour, but instead they
retreated as if unnerved. Tigers scared of chickens?! Since then the
zoo officials have been taking measures to boost the big cats’ bravado.
I bring this to your attention, Libra, because I’m worried you might be
headed in the tigers’ direction. Undomesticate thyself! Halloween
costume suggestion: a big fierce creature.
SCORPIO Oct. 23-Nov. 21: You
could really use your own personal doorman or doorwoman — someone who
would accompany you everywhere you go and help you gain entrance
through the portals you encounter. In my vision of what you require,
this assistant would go further. He or she would find secret
camouflaged doors for you, and do the equivalent of uttering Ali Baba’s
magic words “Open Sesame!” He or she would even create doors
for you, allowing you to penetrate obstacles — going into carpenter
mode and fashioning a passageway for you right on the spot. If you
can’t find anyone to fulfill this role for you, do it yourself.
Halloween costume suggestion: a doorman or doorwoman; a gatekeeper from
a fairy tale.
SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22-Dec. 21: Is
the highest form of courage embodied in a soldier fighting during a
war? Irish poet William Butler Yeats didn’t think so. He said that
entering into the abyss of one’s deep self is equally daring. By my
astrological reckoning, that will be the location of your greatest
heroism in the days ahead. Your most illuminating and productive
adventures will be the wrestling matches you have with the convulsive,
beautiful darkness you find inside yourself. Halloween costume
suggestion: a peaceful warrior.
CAPRICORN Dec. 22-Jan. 19: The
average spammer sends out 12,414,000 emails before snagging the money
of just one gullible dupe. You’re not going to have to be quite that
prolific in order to get the word out about what you have to offer, but
you’ll have to be pretty persistent. Fortunately, to improve your odds
and raise your chances of success, all you have to do is purify your
intentions. So please check in with your deep self and make sure that
your gift or idea or product or service has impeccable integrity.
Halloween costume suggestion: a holy salesperson; an angel hawking real
estate in paradise; a TV infomercial spokesperson for free cake.
AQUARIUS Jan. 20-Feb. 18: Sunlight
may smell spicy or musky to you these days. The wind might have a
flavor like chocolate liqueur or a ripe peach. The hum of the earth as
it turns may sound like a symphony you heard once in a dream. Your
body? Electric. Your soul? Sinewy. In other words, Aquarius magic is
afoot. The hills are alive with future memories that taste delicious.
Your feet will touch sacred ground far more than usual. Halloween
costume suggestion: a character from a film that changed your life for
the better.
PISCES Feb. 19-March 20: In
the middle of the last century, avant-garde filmmaker Kenneth Anger
threw a masquerade party called “Come as Your Madness.” One of the
invited guests was the Piscean writer Anais Nin. She appeared as the
ancient fertility goddess Astarte, but with an unexpected wrinkle: She
wore a birdcage over her head. This Halloween I urge you to be inspired
by Nin’s decision to portray her madness as a goddess, but reject Nin’s
decision to cage the head of her mad goddess. Find a disguise that
allows you to embody the best and most beautiful part of your
craziness, and let it roam free.
Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES and DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.
