i am sho my armz will fall wit fat
& my chin will double wit a smile
& my hair will turn gold
befoe it turns grey
lyke da women in my village
i can guarantee i will quit
try again
&
blame everyone else
& wen no-one iz lookin
ill accept responsibility
& want nuffin mo
dan ta be a prevision of substance
lyke da men in my village
i know my chest will stay perched out
& i will fall wen tryin ta move
& in movin
& fallin
i will laugh tryin not ta cry
imaginin da imagine of wha
could be
wen i grow
in ta
wha will be
next lyfe time
lyke da chilren in my village
i will make da mistake
of trustin someone
datll burn me so badly
despisin dem till next lyfe
a monsta
strong enuf ta
shape shift inta a lova
bright enuf ta blind
my instincts
slick enuf ta cut me while i sleep
& sweet enuf ta make me say
“i love you”
first
lyke everyone in my village
but wen i die
wen i die
please dont read
any of my poemz
dont quote me in memory
& dont botha tellin da folks down da block
how great
i wuz
&
how
if i wuz still alive certain folks
would not be doin da thangs dey doin
& damn sho wouldnt be gettin away
wit certain thangs
wen i die i hope you learn dat although i am wif god
i never wuz god
wen i die
do not feel da need ta
argue & dont be ashamed ta agree
wit da Black man dat swore i wuz
ruinin da Black family
wit my unusual demands of account ability
pleaze let dat young Dark Black Gay Man-
dat you call Crusty & Faggy
who calls me hiz
Muva
go round preservin every piece ive ever written
& internalizin it severely
wen im dead
dont ax
Da Poetry Foundation
Button Poetry
Or Da Library of Congress
why it took till i wuz gone
ta arrive in deir archives
which seems ta be da norm
wit dead mutha fuckas lyke me
da biggest fight ova my lyfe will take place wen i die
not ova who i wuz but da thangs i used ta own
& da money will be da greatest gift known ta
dem & fo dat ill be happy wit death
cuz i know wha its lyke
not ta have so ta give
wen im gone will
bind me ta dem
til i run out
Lester Eugene Mayers is the author of 100 Poems for 100 Voices and is currently a MFA candidate at the Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics. “livea humble” is from his forthcoming work of poetry African Boot Scratcha lovin da ashy-blaq fat chall wif yella teef, which will be available on Amazon starting Nov. 29.
