in case you missed it | Pot perplexity

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boulderweekly.com/icumi

Pot perplexity

We just don’t understand. With the boom in medical marijuana dispensaries over the past year and cops generally looking the other way because of the legal haze surrounding them, pot in Boulder is arguably more plentiful and accessible than ever.

And yet CU was only ranked sixth this year on Princeton Review’s annual ratings of the top stoner schools in the country.

All we can guess is that those CU students who were surveyed for the guide were so blindingly baked that they were drooling on themselves and couldn’t comprehend the questions, much less their answers.

How else can you explain similar decreases in CU’s ranking for hard liquor and top party school?

Snack on something and sober up, people, you’re ruining our reputation.

Hick’s got it licked

This just in. Democrat John Hickenlooper is going to be the next governor of Colorado.

Shocking news, we know. A recent Rasmussen Reports poll of likely voters found that former Congressman and the state’s most famous right-wing nut job, Tom Tancredo, did kill the Republicans’ chances of winning the state’s top post in November.

Tancredo, who announced on July 26 that he is stabbing the Republican Party in the back and running for governor under something called the American Constitution Party, has indeed peeled off a pretty good chunk of the state’s right-wingers and Teabaggers.

As if Scott McInnis needed another obstacle after his little plagiarism problem came to light.

According to the Rasmussen survey, Hickenlooper would garner 43 percent of the vote if he takes on McInnis, who would get 25 percent of the vote. Tancredo would attract 24 percent, inexplicably.

If Dan Maes is in the race instead of McInnis, the survey says, Hickenlooper would take 42 percent of the vote, compared to Maes’ 27 percent and Tancredo’s 24 percent.

Tancredo peels away one-third of the GOP vote no matter which Republican candidate he faces, Rasmussen reports.

Thanks Tom, you rock!

Calling all magicians

Oh, you’re not going to want to miss this. Especially if you’re one of those Lord of the Rings/Dungeons and Dragons dorks who dress up as an elf or a centaur for Halloween.

Did you hear that a real wizard is coming to Denver? We wish we were kidding. This guy by the name of Oberon Zell who looks like an old-school St.

Nicholas will be speaking on “Real Magick for Personal Transformation” at 2:30 p.m. on Sept. 4 at the Celebration Metaphysical Fair being held at the Denver Merchandise Mart. That spell-binding address will be followed by “Wizardry School: Restoring the Wonder” at the same time the next day.

Zell, whose name is followed by the title “Headmaster of the Grey School of Wizardry,” has even penned a couple of books, including Grimoire for the Apprentice Wizard. (That first word is a term for a textbook of magic. Get with it, Frodo.)

But there’s more. Dubbing himself as “the real Albus Dumbledore,” Zell lives in (where else?) California with his wife, … wait for it … Morning Glory.

This online Grey School he founded has like 600 students enrolled and offers “more than 330 classes at seven levels in 16 departments of magical studies,” according to his press release, which was carried through our open window by a black raven.

After we made the invisible ink appear using vinegar, lemon juice and eye of newt, the press release said Zell has traveled the world “exploring unicorns, swimming with the creatures once thought [of ] as mermaids, and celebrating solar eclipses at ancient stone circles.”

This guy could be fun to watch. Check out www.celebrationfair.com for more information on tickets.