Saturday morning in Boulder. Your eyes are bloodshot. Your mouth tastes like the venue. When you try to stand up, it feels like food poisoning on a ship in bad weather. But you promised yourself you wouldn’t waste this Saturday, given last weekend’s take out-and-Netflix-filled bacchanal. You’ve got to make it through this hangover. Where do you go?
A hangover in Boulder is harder than one suffered in most major cities. Feeling wretched in New York or Los Angeles is fine, because the world outside your door hates you as much as you hate it. But Boulder is a crunchy, ultra-positive college town, a city that runs on good vibes. Meeting that head-on with two heads on can be difficult.Â
Accordingly, here’s an initial warning: avoid the Pearl Street Mall. Teeming with children, tourists and street performers, Pearl Street can be a frustrating and nervous experience with a hangover. If you make it out without sweating through your clothes or yarfing in a trash can, you’ll have at the very least made some coffee shop patron annoyed while they wait for you to sort the dollar bills from the bar receipts in your pocket.
The healthy remedy is a stop by the Dushanbe Tea House, where you can load up on warm, soothing antioxidants and plug the hunger hole with some Kookoo Sabsi or Tagliatelle. The soothing atmosphere can help calm the beast as well. But during average brunch hours, the Tea House can be loud and tourist-heavy too. A similar issue can occur at Lucille’s — though the famous Creole eatery has all the grits, chicory coffee and Cuban OJ your ravaged body needs, the long wait surrounded by excited visiting foodies can put you in a fighting mood.
Tangerine is known as one of the better brunches in Boulder, and assistant manager Mara promises me they’re ready for hurting patrons. She recommends a raspberry Mimosa if you need some hair of the dog. As for food, she puts out the fire inside with grease. “For something to eat, I’d go with our biscuits and gravy,” she says. “They’re made with sausage and duck confit, and they come with potatoes. When I’m hung over, I like food big and greasy.”
Shanna at Village Coffee Shop on Folsom makes a similar recommendation: “I’d go with our egg burrito if I was hung over. It’s smothered in green chili, and ours is the best.” Though it doesn’t serve booze, Village has all of the hearty diner food needed to squash one’s personal demons — not to mention it has a great history with this fine publication. “We remember when you voted us Best Place to Eat Breakfast in Last Night’s Clothes,” says Shanna.
But for nausea-based hangovers, sustenance can be poison. Those who can’t be helped by food or daylight should head to the Century Theater on 29th Street, where they’re showing classic films of the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s in the early afternoon on Sundays. Watching Spaceballs in a darkened room might not be too different from watching it on your laptop, but they have soda, and at least you got out.
So sure, you feel terrible while the gorgeous city outside your door bustles. But if you can avoid the masses, eat the pain away and sit through a movie, you’ve at least lived enough of a day that crawling back to bed is somewhat acceptable.
Good luck, you poor souls.
