June 11 - June 17, 2009editorial@boulderweekly.comNear-naked activities A Boulder couple is complaining that their landlord is discriminating against them by telling them to “dress appropriately” when outside the apartment building where they live. The couple was given the instruction after neighbors complained to police because Catharine and Robert Pierce, 51 and 58 years old, respectively, were gardening (of all things) in thongs. Catharine Pierce wore pasties to cover her nipples, as well. Thanks, Cathy!
The police officers who responded took no action since the couples attire, while minimal (and kinda gross), was completely legal.
But their landlord is citing a nuisance clause in the couples’ lease agreement and saying that the behavior could be grounds for eviction.
We’re not sure this is reasonable action on the part of the landlord, but we do see why neighbors might have been a bit shocked to see 50-somethings in thongs bending over and straining with all their might to pull weeds and plant cucumbers. Of all the hobbies they could have been participating in while wearing, well, nearly nothing, this is among the worst possibilities for a passer-by or innocent onlooker. But it also got us thinking about other activities that just shouldn’t be done without first covering your naughty bits (and their surrounding areas). Here’s a list of things we’d rather not see nearly naked 50-somethings doing. Though we do respect their right to do so, we’d avert our eyes if we witnessed any of the following:
—Playing volleyball
—Yoga
—Jumping on a trampoline
—Eating phallic fruit
—Knitting
—Bouncing a young child on his or her knee
—Jogging
—Opening a jar of pickles
—Riding a horse
—Bullfighting
We’ll repeal if you will In a decision that thoroughly distresses the staff here at BW, Army Capt. James Piertrangelo II has lost his appeal against the U.S.
Supreme Court. The appeal concerned his dismissal as a member of the United States armed forces. And the reason he was dismissed? For being gay.
Started in 1993 under the Clinton administration, the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy is still alive and well, despite Obama’s campaign indications that he supported its repeal. That approach to dealing with the “issue” of gays in the military seems so antiquated and illogical that some staffers here were surprised to learn it was still the policy taken by the military. Still! After so many states have taken steps to not only provide same-sex benefits, but to allow (finally) gay marriage. After LBGT communities have flourished and gathered support from the public-at-large. After some churches have accepted not only gay members of their congregation, but have allowed for gay preachers. After an increased presence in politics and media. After Will & Grace, Brokeback Mountain, and every other winner of American Idol! In other words, we’ve come a long way since 1993.
And, yes, there is still a helluva long way to go to make sure that our LBGT community has equal rights across the board in the United States, but this is the armed forces we’re talking about. In a time when the army is so desperate to recruit new members that they hang around high schoolers and encourage students to play high-tech war-simulated video games and cart them around the suburbs in Hummers for the “experience,” shouldn’t they be begging for anyone they can get? Why on earth would the military be rejecting anyone who wants to sign up, regardless of whether they like the same sex?
What’s most atrocious about all of this of course is the realization that despite any progress we’ve made, our leaders are still homophobic. And if not personally homophobic, than too chicken shit to stand up to those who are. So to combat this issue, we at BW would like to take the time to redirect the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy back to our government. As in, the next time we’re asked where our income tax check is, or why we think it’s OK to smoke a blunt in public, we’ll just point to the sign. Until they repeal theirs, we won’t repeal ours.
