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|October 16-22, firstname.lastname@example.org
Rip awakens to vote Obama
It was 1988, and a disenchanted Breckenridge resident named Rip Van Winkle went on a walk through the woods to escape from the pervasive politics of the town. The TVs had been blaring news of the looming election: George H.W. Bush was winning against Democratic candidate Michael Dukakis, and Van Winkle was pessimistic. After eight years of an actor-president’s Star Wars Defense Initiative, War on Drugs and general Reaganomics, Winkle had had enough. Only a walk through the serene mountain peaks could do the trick.
While trekking past the trees, however, he was sidetracked by the shiny silver hotpants and acid-wash denim jacket of a local skier, blinding him temporarily. Rip Van Winkle slipped into the snow and fell into a hotpants-induced coma, later giving way to one very deep sleep.
Twenty years later, Rip Van Winkle emerged from his slumber and stumbled back into town. After retrieving his senses, gaining sustenance from something called tofurkey, and figuring out what the hell “google” means, Van Winkle decided to catch up on politics.
So sad he was to find that little had changed — different Bush, same Republican ideology. But with prospects higher for Obama than Dukakis, change was in the air. And so Van Winkle decided to re-register to vote.
But Breckenridge officials are now contesting the validity of his registration.
Summit County has recently encountered a surge in what are being referred to as fraudulent voting applications. A handful of applications have been turned in using fake driver’s licenses and partial Social Security numbers. Included in these reports is an application from Rip Van Winkle.
While we don’t support fraudulent voting, and understand the frustration in tracking down a man that’s been sleeping in the woods for 20 years, we understand why Van Winkle is ready to exercise his rights. After all, someone out there has been voting for Bush for the past two elections, and we have reason to believe they’ve been hailing from a similar application process. While we don’t yet have all the names, we do have a couple leads: Cruella de Vil, Darth Vader, Lord Voldemort and every wicked stepmother in town.
These things happen in Boulder
On Tuesday, Oct. 14, 300 CU students packed into a classroom for the first annual meeting of the University of Colorado’s chapter of NORML — the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws. The campus organization encourages students to promote marijuana-reform laws in the local and state community. In addition to providing students with the truth about current laws and about the green leaf’s true side effects and purpose in society, NORML also decided that it would hand out free pipes to new members during the meeting.
The next day, a headline relaying the gathering read, “NORML meeting well-attended.”
To which we could only respond: No fucking kidding!
Welcome to Boulder, people. You know? As in the Republic of? Shall we run down a list of reasons why this hub of ganja is ideal for such a student group?
—Every year on April 20 (that’s 4/20), CU students and friends gather in the thousands (yes, thousands) to freely smoke pot and groove in the face of the legal establishment. Though it used to be held on the university’s small Farrand Field, the annual 4/20 celebration has since relocated to the expansive Norlin Quad in the middle of campus to accommodate its latest and highest attendee rate yet: 10,000 glossy-eyed stoners. National TV news stations cover this event so the rest of the country can confirm their opinions of our eccentric Colorado town. It’s, as we like to say, a pretty big deal.
—Frequent the Pearl Street mall anytime recently? Scoring an eighth is as easy as pointing out flaws in the Bush Administration. Simply approach the nearest dreddy kid, exchange in some “dude” banter, and bam! You’ve got yourself some green. All the ratted kids inside holding hands in a circle around a bong? A guy in a suit might do the trick just as well.
—And speaking of suits… In 2006, a Boulder City Council member, Richard Polk, was busted for possession of marijuana. So if the people we elect don’t seem to care, then guess what? The citizens don’t mind it so much, either.
So, yeah, guys. That meeting was pretty well attended. Boulder wouldn’t have it any other way.
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