September 4-10, 2008
editorial@boulderweekly.com

Cops strike at media covering RNC protests
As Boulder Weekly went to press, independent media covering the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minn., were being searched, detained, battered and arrested by armed police. Among those arrested were Amy Goodman of Democracy Now!, and two of the program’s producers, Sharif Abdel Kouddous and Nicole Salazar, who was reportedly roughed up to the point of bleeding. Alternative media also reported police raids of the homes at which they were staying. During those raids, police allegedly searched notebooks, backpacks and other possessions.

What were they hoping to find? The names and phone numbers of protesters who were acting as sources, perhaps? Who knows? One officer, recorded by Democracy Now!, claims he knew nothing about the people he was searching and detaining. Apparently, he was just blindly carrying out his duty to be a bully.

Assaulting the media at conventions, though despicable and inexcusable, is nothing new. At the 2000 Democratic National Convention and the 2004 Republican National Convention, media reported being assaulted, detained and arrested by police. In 2000, there were confirmed reports that Los Angeles police were firing rubber bullets at reporters covering street protests. The U.S. Justice Department flew in observers, who patrolled the streets in an effort to protect the media’s First Amendment right to gather news.

So where is the Justice Department now? Let’s hope that they’re on a plane to St. Paul before this paper hits the streets.

Caution! Under 18
Rep. Randy Fischer, a Democrat from Fort Collins, is proposing a measure that would make teen drivers attach a decal to their cars warning other motorists of their highway inexperience.

Here at Boulder Weekly, we happen to think it’s a great idea. The more experienced drivers out there would know to pay extra attention when around the little pipsqueaks on the road, creating safer roads for everyone.

In fact, we think the lawmakers should take it a step further and require those who are under the age of 18 to wear a warning sticker on their person at all times.

This would accomplish several things, but the bottom line would be the same as that of the car decal; it would warn those around them that there is a highly immature human nearby and encourage them to proceed with caution.

And as an added bonus, it would help to discourage the high school girls from trying to pass for college girls. As teenage girls these days often look more like they are 26 years old than 16, it would help the unintentional pedophiles out there to determine whether or not to pursue a young hottie.

On the other hand, it would take the “I didn’t know! She said she was 22!” defense off the table. Sorry, dudes.

Don’t touch that squirrel’s nuts
On Aug. 29, the students of Niwot High School were under attack. Sort of. Upon hearing of an armed man near the property, the school went into lockdown. Students stayed in the building for 10 minutes before an “all clear” statement came through from the Boulder County Sheriff’s Office. The culprit had been found. The students were safe.

But who was this strange, gun-wielding man?

A squirrel hunter. Yeah, that’s right. Some dude was walking around with an air rifle, looking for small, tree-climbing mammals.

Now, before you pass judgment on the guy, remember that we don’t know all the facts in this case. Maybe the squirrels kidnapped the man’s children and were holding them for ransom. Perhaps the squirrels dressed up like ninjas and attacked the man while he was trying to get a mocha latte at Starbucks. It’s impossible to know for certain.

In any case, there’s a lesson to be learned here: If furry-tailed rodents dress up like deadly assassins and disrupt your beverage purchase, do not retaliate with violence. Or at least don’t do it near a school. It’s creepy.

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