July 17-23, 2008
editorial@boulderweekly.com

L is for loser
There are leaders, and there are losers. George W is, without a doubt, one of the biggest losers in U.S. history. He had a chance to lead a green revolution in the United States, helping Americans to reduce their need for expensive fossil fuels and shepherding U.S. industries through drastic reductions in their greenhouse gas emissions. Instead, he chooses to protect the short-term monetary interests of the fossil-fuel lobby — oil, gas, coal — by lifting the ban on off-shore drilling and refusing to set limits on greenhouse gases.

His excuse? The economy.

Here’s a truth that seems to elude George W and the other greedheads in industry and government who refuse to face the inevitable: What’s bad for the planet is bad for the economy.

If we don’t end our dependence on fossil fuels and eliminate greenhouse gas emissions, we can look forward not only to the environmental damage and weather catastrophes that result, but also global social instability and the fun stuff that comes with it: increased poverty, worsening food shortages, the spread of disease, food wars, water wars, oil wars.

Men like George think they can control the world around them, that they can be masters of all they survey. But they’re not quite the gods they think they are. When there’s no food to eat, their money won’t mean a damned thing.

Skinny, single and selfish
According to Money Magazine, Boulder is the fifth skinniest city in the nation and No. 8 when it comes to the number of adult residents who are single. They speculated that the city’s status as a hot spot for sexy, slender singles is the result of its open spaces, mountain parks and bike trails — and its sunny climate.

We all love hearing this, because we love reading about ourselves. Go us!

What the article fails to mention is that Boulder is also ranked near the top for self-centeredness. It’s the perfect place to live if you want to think globally but act selfishly. Brimming with self-styled Bodhisattvas, the city lags behind fatter, more family-oriented communities in the state when it comes to charitable giving.

“Boulder just isn’t good for us,” said the executive director of one local nonprofit that benefits women and children. “I don’t know why, but Boulder just isn’t good for fund-raising.”

With enlightenment floating through the air here like cheap cologne, you’d think Boulder residents would do a better job of sharing with those who are less fortunate. Then again, everyone’s budget is so tight! Between gassing up the SUV and paying for gym memberships, appointments with life coaches, manicurists and acupuncturists, body-fat testing, and meditation classes, how is anyone supposed make ends meet? Besides, Michael Jackson said making the world better starts with looking at the person in the mirror, right?

We’d like to answer that question, but having to balance workouts, VO2 max tests and self-discovery workshops with our press deadline means we’re too busy right now.

Makin’ it with evil
So, what’s the best thing you could do to a country you are at odds with? Resolve through peaceful discussion, the respectful say.

Call them names and blow raspberries, the more disgruntled might contend.

Blow them up, the power-hungry leaders of the Free World will shrug… but not before some serious money-makin’ can occur.
Iran, George W Bush’s target-du-jour, is a nation of much American criticism. The Bush administration has expressed concern over Iran’s nuclear capabilities and general threat to democracy. The opposition is so much, in fact, that Iran is included in Bush’s fueled “Axis of Evil” phrase. Yet, for such an evil country, we sure do love doing commerce with them.

A recent Associated Press report found that U.S. exports to Iran increased more than tenfold during Bush’s term in office. In fact, few who ask permission for trade with Iraq are turned down. Cigarettes topped the export list at $158 million in exports during the Bush years. But the other top items sent to Iran are as equally classy — brassieres, bull semen, fur clothing, perfume, musical instruments and military apparel.

We’re not sure what kind of party Bush planned for his pre-war Iranian celebration, but at least we know it sounds like a whole lotta wicked fun. That is, until Cheney starts wearing the lampshade and hoarding all the bull semen. Then we know it’s time to just step back and let the bombs fly.

Respond: letters@boulderweekly.com
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